Depression Rooms and Doom Piles: Why Cleaning Up Clutter Can Seem Impossible (2023)

A camera pans around Abegael Milot's room. The floor is almost invisible, hidden by piles of clothes. Four large plastic bins are stacked on top of each other, some full of dirty clothes, some filled with electronics. There are eight abandoned coffee cups on the table and nightstand. On the floor are two half-empty water bottles, a tequila bottle with a glass cactus inside, and a pet food dispenser.

“Today we are going to clean my depression room,” the 24-year-old YouTube star, who posts videos like Abbe Lucia,says the camera. "I'm afraid the only way to force myself to clean this room is to film it."

The term "depression room" is a relatively new one, popularized by videos on TikTok and YouTube that have amassed hundreds of millions of views. But experts have long recognized the link between the disorder and mental health. The clutter that can accumulate when people experience a mental health crisis is not a form of accumulation or the result of laziness. The culprit is extreme fatigue, said N. Brad Schmidt, distinguished research professor of psychology at Florida State University.

People "often are so mentally and physically exhausted that they don't feel like they have the energy to take care of themselves or their environment," said Dr. Schmidt. “They just don't have the ability to commit to the cleaning and house keeping that they probably once had.”

A messy home can also contribute to feeling overwhelmed,stressand shame, making youfeel worsethan you already do. And while tidying up won't cure your depression, it can improve your mood. If you're struggling and it seems impossible to keep your space organized, here are some tips on how to clean strategically to optimize your energy and space.

Focus on function, not aesthetics

For KC Davis, licensed professional counselor and author of "How to Keep the House While Drowning," her clutter problem skyrocketed when her second child was born in early 2020. "I've always been a messy person," she said, "but it's always been functional." Suddenly faced with a new baby, postpartum depression and a pandemic, Mrs. Davis realized that with no system in place, she was overwhelmed.

While working to tidy up her house, Mrs. Davis startedpost videosof his progress on TikTok, where he now has 1.5 million followers. Put off by much of the self-help and cleanup content that has what she called "camp messages," she opted for a softer, more pragmatic approach. Her systems are realistic in their capabilities and focus on having a livable, not pristine, space.

One of his most popular strategies is “five things asking”, the idea that there are only five things in any room: garbage, dishes, dirty laundry, things with a place and things without a place. Focusing on one category at a time keeps you from becoming overwhelmed when it feels like there are hundreds of different items that need saving.

Mrs. Davis is also a big proponent of what she calls "end-tasks", inspired by her time working as a waitress. She often doesn't have the energy to clean the entire kitchen every night, so she started doing just a few small chores, "as a kindness to my future, to set me up for success in the morning."

“I moved away from this idea that it had to be all or nothing and started thinking about function” when it comes to cleaning, he said. "When I think 'What do I need in the morning?' suddenly I can be specific." She makes sure she has clean dishes and enough counter space so she can make breakfast, empty the trash, and sweep up the crumbs. “What seems like a never-ending task is really just 20 minutes of my day,” he said.

For people who are really struggling, Ms. Davis emphasized that things can be ugly, but they shouldn't be unsanitary, because we all "deserve to be clean and comfortable." If you don't have the energy to wash all the dishes, just clean one or two for the next meal, or use paper plates. If the laundry involves a lot of steps, don't worry about folding; Wrinkles never hurt anyone.

Make your home work better for you

People who are neurodivergent, have attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), autism, or other executive functioning problems also often struggle with excessive disorder. Much like "depression rooms", the term "heaps of destruction" has become popular on social media to describe the random things that are piling up that you don't know what to do with. Almost everyone has a drawer or two of junk at home, but these piles of clutter tend to be more ubiquitous for people who struggle with executive functioning.

Lenore Brooks is an interior designer who specializes in working with neurodivergent people. When her sister, who has ADHD, briefly lived with her, Mrs. Brooks found that there were many resources to help children with ADHD. or autism remain organized, but virtually none are adult-oriented.

Much of Mrs. Brooks revolves around helping her clients deal with the seemingly endless clutter; they feel like they are constantly cleaning but the mess is always there. People with ADHD She struggles with this especially because, she says, “It's almost like decision fatigue all the time. "I can't decide what to do with it, so I'm just not going to do anything with it."

The first step, Brooks said, is to pay close attention to the items you clean frequently. Then find better places for them to live. “What I talk about a lot with my clients is systems,” he said. “Finding out why things are where they are, why clutter is piling up where it is, and then changing the layout or organization of how people actually use their home.”

These changes can be simple. For example, if you're constantly removing pens from your living room sofa cushions and coffee table, consider designating a place to keep them in the room where you're actually using them. For a client whose home office was always littered with dirty dishes, Ms. Brooks gave her a tray on which she could place her tea and snack paraphernalia and return to the kitchen at the end of each day.

Stop the problem before it starts

Once your space is clean and relatively tidy, try to dedicate a few minutes each day to keeping it that way. Mrs. Davis recommended setting a timer of five to 10 minutes and being as careful as possible during that time. “I tell myself, I don't need to finish this assignment, but I'm going to get up for eight minutes and do it,” she said. “I am usually amazed at how much I can do.”

And remember, it's normal to have some clutter in your home. The TV remote, your glasses, the mail you need to sort, an art project you're working on: "These are signs of life in your home," Brooks said.